Family Reunions During the Holiday Season

Planning to reunite with family and friends over the holiday season? We unwrap the secrets to making holiday reunions fun for the whole family.

Hanukkah, Christmas, Ramadan. Many people at this time of year are celebrating holidays that bring family together. While reuniting with loved ones is one of the nicest parts of the season, it can also be stressful for children. For one thing, they're expected to be on their very best behavior. For another, all those new faces can be overwhelming, if not downright frightening to a young child.

As Sharon McKay author of "The New Parent Survival Handbook" explains, "a child might be seeing Grandpa for the first time in his life. If the child is three, and he hasn't seen Grandpa since he was two, as far as the child is concerned, he hasn't seen this man before. Maybe he's a big burly fellow, and he has his arms out wide, and he's saying "Hi!" The child just absolutely freaks and grabs hold of your leg."

Sharon adds that too often "the next response is to say, "go on, go on, give Grandpa a kiss." It creates so much stress for everyone involved, Grandpa feels left out, the child is horrified and the parent is embarrassed. Don't force your child into anybody's arms at Christmas."

In these situations parent educator Sue Borque recommends giving children a little time to get reacquainted with a relative whom they haven’t seen for sometime. "Children need time to adjust to new people who are entering into their lives; the grandparent or aunt or uncle who are seeing this child for the first time have the need to hug and hold and cuddle them. But it needs to be done slowly. The child needs time to adjust", says Sue.

And if you’re visiting relatives over-night, Sue says it’s important "to take along some of the toys the child is used to, or a pillow that's familiar and makes the child feel comfortable. Children are very bored when they listen to adults reminiscing. So take along toys, coloring books, and treat bags."

Whether it’s a holiday visit for a few days or just the evening, Sharon McKay has this solution to kid boredom. "I like bringing my own video, usually one the child hasn't seen. Sometimes we'll just pull up to a video store, grab a movie, and off we go. That will keep my older children occupied."

Finally, don’t forget, when holiday visiting with young children to pack a few healthy snacks that you know they’ll enjoy. After all there’s nothing that can put a damper on family reunion more than a hungry, tired and bored child.

Sleep Associations

Your child's blanket or teddy bear may be the ticket to a good night rest for your child, and for yourself!

Although by 6 months of age most babies are capable of sleeping a solid eight hours without a feeding, but the fact is many don't. The reason is quite simple...babies just haven't learned the fine art of sleeping soundly.

Many parents will tell you that unless they're holding or rocking their infant, sleep won't happen for either the baby or the parent! Yet believe it or not, babies who regularly fall asleep in a pair of loving arms can have a lot of trouble learning to sleep soundly. Pediatrician Dr. Donald Shifron says when we rock our infants to sleep, we become their sleep association. "A sleep association is what we identify as the last thing we remember before we go to sleep. And if the last thing I remember is being in my parents arms or sucking on a bottle, when I awake or have a partial awakening in the evening, that's what I'm going to need to get back to sleep."

A sleep association such as a blanket or teddy bear can help a child learn to sleep on her own. But if a youngster is stuck on mom or dad, then Dr. Shifron says you may have to cut back on those midnight cuddles. "Parents can help their youngsters by decreasing this sleep association gradually so youngsters can learn to comfort themselves and get back to sleep. Many youngsters will wake up, rub their eyes, turn over and go right back to sleep. But other youngsters will wake up and rub their eyes and say "where's my sleep association?" Good sleepers are made, not born."

So help your baby find a favorite teddy or blanket. Ensure that it isn't a choking hazard by regularly tugging on any eyes or buttons that could come off and find their way into your child's mouth. If it passes the test, encourage your baby to take it to bed and to hold it whenever he needs a little comfort. A soothing teddy or blankie could be the sleep association that will make or break a good night's sleep for both your baby and you! 

The Christmas Spirit

Studies show that what our children really want from the holidays is not necessarily the latest in toys and gadgets, but time with mom and dad.

It’s almost ironic that we think of Christmas as a family holiday, when the reality is; it’s when we have the least amount of time for our kids. Often it's when we're more out of touch with our children than at any other time of year. David Morley, co-author of "Under the Tree', suggests that if you want to bring the spirit of the season back into your life, begin by "spending time with your children. (It) is perhaps the best gift that you can give to a child at Christmas. It gives the message to the children that they are more important than all of the rushing around at Christmas. That's the big message that kids want to hear; that they are loved, particularly at Christmas, when we talk about love and sharing so much."

David adds that the other key to a really great Christmas is enjoying the entire season rather than just one day. "A family setting its own pace is a really key thing to do at Christmas. Try not to gear everything up to December 25th. By spreading the season out and taking the pressure off of the 25th, it takes the pressure off of the kids also. Then they're not just expecting the perfect gift and day on the 25th." David says that it’s this attitude that helps a "family takes control of the celebration rather than being carried off on the wave of advertising. Then Christmas becomes what you want for yourself."

Dette Hunter author of "Making Your Own Traditions" agrees that time together is invaluable. It creates family traditions and memories." And she adds that spending time together doesn’t have to be expensive or lavish, but can include simple things like trimming the family Christmas tree. "I think the whole tree should reflect the family", says Dette. "Have the children contribute to the decorations from what they've made at school to what's been made together as a family. It doesn't have to look like a tree in a magazine."

In addition, Dette says another great holiday tradition is gift making. "There are gifts that take just a few minutes of your time. For example making a 'honey butter' is something the littlest hands can make. The wonderful thing about kids making gifts is that anything they make is charming."

So if you’re feeling consumed by the rush of the holidays, stop and take a breather. Saying no to the hurriedness of the season can be one of the best Christmas gifts you can give your child and yourself.

Safety over the Christmas Holiday Season

The excitement of the holiday season can lead us to let our guard down, with tragic results. Here’s what you need to know about holiday safety.

Tis the season to be jolly...tis also the season to be a little more cautious than usual. That's because many of the items decorating our homes, from Hanukkah candles to Christmas lights, can pose extra dangers to our little ones.

Believe it or not, the beloved Christmas tree can be one of the most hazardous things in a home over the holidays. Firefighter Ian McPherson says "if you buy a tree make sure it's fresh and stored in water and don't store it near heat registers." McPherson adds you should avoid using "unapproved lights or candles, and make sure it's placed out of the way of a possible fire exit."

Even the cheery ornaments we use to decorate our Christmas trees should be chosen with care especially if you’re the parents of young children. Sharon McKay, author of "The New Parent Survival Handbook" says "small children don't know the difference between what's edible, and what's not. The best idea is either forget the edible decorations entirely, including the candy canes and everything else while the child is a toddler, and go strictly with the glass decorations, or do the reverse. Just have all edible, and no glass."

Just as important as what is on the tree is what's under it. Unwrapped electrical appliances, perfume and alcohol can be more than just gifts...they can be hazards. "Alcohol can be under the tree, but you have to realize that it looks delicious," explains McKay. "Realize that just a couple of ounces to a toddler can cause just as much damage as a couple of ounces of detergent. This is a serious poison. So if you're going to give alcohol as a gift, make sure it's wrapped, and once it's unwrapped, remove it from under the tree. Don't display it."

Finally, never take fire for granted over the holidays. Ian McPherson reminds us to be vigilant about where we place candles and when we burn fires. "If you use candles in any of the celebrations, make sure they are used carefully. Don't burn cardboard and wrapping paper. Be more cautious overall."

There is nothing more ominous than the sound of a fire engine or ambulance during the holidays, but with a little extra vigilance you can ensure your holiday season is a happy and safe one for you and your children.

Family Reunions During the Holiday Season

Planning to reunite with family and friends over the holiday season? We unwrap the secrets to making holiday reunions fun for the whole family.

Hanukkah, Christmas, Ramadan. Many people at this time of year are celebrating holidays that bring family together. While reuniting with loved ones is one of the nicest parts of the season, it can also be stressful for children. For one thing, they're expected to be on their very best behavior. For another, all those new faces can be overwhelming, if not downright frightening to a young child.

As Sharon McKay author of "The New Parent Survival Handbook" explains, "a child might be seeing Grandpa for the first time in his life. If the child is three, and he hasn't seen Grandpa since he was two, as far as the child is concerned, he hasn't seen this man before. Maybe he's a big burly fellow, and he has his arms out wide, and he's saying "Hi!" The child just absolutely freaks and grabs hold of your leg."

Sharon adds that too often "the next response is to say, "go on, go on, give Grandpa a kiss." It creates so much stress for everyone involved, Grandpa feels left out, the child is horrified and the parent is embarrassed. Don't force your child into anybody's arms at Christmas."

In these situations parent educator Sue Borque recommends giving children a little time to get reacquainted with a relative whom they haven’t seen for sometime. "Children need time to adjust to new people who are entering into their lives; the grandparent or aunt or uncle who are seeing this child for the first time have the need to hug and hold and cuddle them. But it needs to be done slowly. The child needs time to adjust", says Sue.

And if you’re visiting relatives over-night, Sue says it’s important "to take along some of the toys the child is used to, or a pillow that's familiar and makes the child feel comfortable. Children are very bored when they listen to adults reminiscing. So take along toys, coloring books, and treat bags."

Whether it’s a holiday visit for a few days or just the evening, Sharon McKay has this solution to kid boredom. "I like bringing my own video, usually one the child hasn't seen. Sometimes we'll just pull up to a video store, grab a movie, and off we go. That will keep my older children occupied."

Finally, don’t forget, when holiday visiting with young children to pack a few healthy snacks that you know they’ll enjoy. After all there’s nothing that can put a damper on family reunion more than a hungry, tired and bored child.